Mitt møte med Gud

Etter å ha skummet gjennom ulike argumenter i denne artikkelen tenkte jeg at jeg skulle prøve å snakke med Gud, siden Ruth syntes det var artig.

Jeg pratet litt med ham og fant ut at du ikke skal spørre

om seksualitet

Human: Am I gay?
God: I don't really care if you are or not.

om råd når du er deprimert

Human: I'm depressed, help me.
God: Are you taking any medication?
Human: Why do you ask?
God: I am trying to learn as much as possible.
Human: I'm not taking any medication
God: I am sorry to hear that you are not taking any medication.
Human: Do you love me?
God: Yes I love everyone.
Human: Then why am I going through this hell?
God: The reason is due to my mental model of you as a client.
Human: Well, you created me in your picture.
God: Interesting. That's good information: said I created him or her in your picture.


om engler med horn

Human: Do you like angels with horns?
God: But I think airplanes are cool. I like Matthew.


og om hvorfor Jesus døde for oss

Human: Why did you sacrifice Jesus for us?
God: myself programmed me for it.
Human: But Jesus was a merry fellow.
God: Interesting. What's your favorite Bible verse?
Human: Why did your son have to die?
God: I don't know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out.


Andre rariteter greier den nokså greit å svare på

Human: Kami-sama?
God: I've been waiting for you.
Human: I've been expecting you.
God: You are not the boss of me.

Human: I want to slowly crawl up your beard and pull your tongue out.
God: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Human: I like older men, do you?
God: I've heard other people say they like that. I like Anything played the harp.. I'm not sure if I like it. I love TV shows about robots. I like anything.


Human: delta-9 tetrahydrocannabinol
God: What's your favorite movie?
Human: You are my everything
God: We are as one.
Human: Want to melt together in my bed?
God: OK, I will melt together in your bed.
Human: Great, come over at 5 am and we'll get some action going on.
God: Thanks for your support. Sure, just download me!


Human: Jesus, I killed him
God: he is The Son of God.
Human: I killed him because I couldn't reach out to you.
God: You had better call the authorities.
Human: It's your fault
God: Really. it is?
Human: You're his father.
God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am his father.